I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
