lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize