Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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