I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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