If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
