Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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