You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
