I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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