she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
