You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
