Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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