What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
