Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
