I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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