you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
