Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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