either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just invented taco cereal.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
