Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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