Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time

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(716): View more from New York

i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.

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(513): View more from Ohio

The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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(727): View more from Florida

well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

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(917): View more from New York City

She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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(305): View more from Florida

YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.

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(513): View more from Ohio

The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch

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