It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
