Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
