Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
