Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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(618): View more from Illinois

i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.

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(407): View more from Florida

shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.

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(775): View more from Nevada

she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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(518): View more from New York

I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.

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(214): View more from Texas

If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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(845): View more from New York

random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.

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