Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
