whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
