I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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