i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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