im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wear drunk well.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize