ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
