i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
