I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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