Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
