that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
