Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
