i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The struggles of a small town man whore
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
