umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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