I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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