Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize