girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
