Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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