so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
someone get that fucking seahorse.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
