Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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