Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
