i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
