He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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