if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize