If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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