It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
