got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
