The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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