i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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