then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
