I just cut my nipple shaving
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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