Betty ford says i'm here all night
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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