the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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