You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
