return my video game
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
