Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
