Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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