I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just high enough for therapy.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
