u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize