Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
