dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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