So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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