I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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