So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
