I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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