you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
