I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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