i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize