I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
