your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
